


the original gays tm and their child

by Mysterycheerio



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Avengers Family, Avengers Feels, BAMF Michelle Jones, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Crack, Deaf Clint Barton, Domestic Avengers, Dorito Steve Rogers, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Group chat, Hamilton Lyrics, Hamilton References, Humor, M/M, Memes, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Knows All, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Peter is a Little Shit, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Sherlock Holmes References, Star Wars References, Tags May Change, Thor Loves Pop-Tarts (Marvel), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Tumblr Memes, Vines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25869331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysterycheerio/pseuds/Mysterycheerio
Summary: :)))))idekThis was originally, the avengers group chat ft ironclad and spiderson but I killed that so here we are
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker & Shuri, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 121
Kudos: 138





	1. of all the bad ideas

**Author's Note:**

> Tony: toasterman, toasterdad  
> Peter: lmaowensdai, spiderboi   
> Steve, applepies, Captain smallass  
> Natasha: eyespi, nutella  
> Thor: sparkles, poptarts  
> Clint: ratinthewalls, mouldyshit  
> Sam: birdy, tothelefttotheleft  
> Wanda: emophase, angelica  
> Tchalla: what’snewpussycat? , looney  
> Bucky: Bucky, jesustakethewheel, binky  
> Rhodey: sourpatch, mrfahrenheit   
> Shuri: Tchallabutbetter, mmmmteasis  
> Scott: LackToesInToddlerAnts  
> Michelle: overthisdumbassschool  
> Ned: hellothere  
> Bruce: jollygreengiant  
> Loki: notmyguccioutfityoufilth

_**Toasterman created a new group (lmaowensdai, eyespi, sourpatch + 11 more)** _

_**Toasterman changed the group name to The Original Gays tm** _

_**Toasterman made lmaowensdai an admin** _

**Eyespi:** of all the bad ideas you could’ve done

 **Toasterman:** don’t fucking judge me you lump of fuck

 **Ratinthewalls:** are you seriously gonna let Tony talk to you like that Nat?

 **Eyespi:** normally no, but that’s not Tony

 **LackToesInToddlerAnts:** ????

 **Applepies:** what do you mean, nat?

 **Eyespi:** peter give Tony his phone back

 **Toasterman:** meanie

 **Birdy:** who’s Peter??

 **Toasterman:** oop sorry m8 gotta skrt skrt

 **Sourpatch:** he’s _@lmaowensdai_

 **Lmaowensdai:** e x p o s e d

 **Tchallabutbetter:** I’m going to fucking kill you!!1!1!!1!

 **Lmaowensdai:** but... I thought you’d like it 🥺

 **Tchallabutbetter:** I am nothing like my brother

 **Lmaowensdai:** p-please...

 **Applepies:** what is going on

 **Eyespi:** no let them finish

 **Tchallabutbetter:** *picks up a chancla*

 **Lmaowensdai:** n-no

 **Tchallabutbetter:** better fucking run spider boy

 **Lmaowensdai:** running

 **Applepies:** spiderman?

 **Lmaowensdai:** it’s actually Spider-Man,,, capitalised and hyphenated.

 **Tchallabutbetter:** is it though, spiderman???

 **Lmaowensdai:** go commit scooter ankle

 **Tchallabutbetter:** oof

 **Emophase:** woah there satan

 **What’snewpussycat?:** what is this stark?

 **Tchallabutbetter:** I take it back ily Peter

 **Bucky:** how did you even take stark’s phone?

 **Lmaowensdai:** he passed out in the lab

 **Sparkles:** HELOLO CPMRADES

 **Lmaowensdai:** hi thor

 **Sparkles:** my brother has informed me of how to use this electronic typing device correctly

 **Lmaowensdai:** I FUCKING KNEW I FORGOT SOMEONE

 **Tchallabutbetter:** *wheezes*

_**Lmaowensdai added notmyguccioutfityoufilth to The Original Gays tm** _

**Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** took you long enough hoe

 **LackToesInToddlerAnts:** why do you not type like thor?

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** bc??? I’m not???incompetent??

 **Lmaowensdai:** oof

 **Emophase:** press f to pay respects

 **Lmaowensdai:** f

 **Tchallabutbetter:** f

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** f

 **Eyespi:** f

_**Toasterman is online.** _

**Toasterman:** peter you fucking twat

 **Toasterman:** why the fuck would you do this

 **Lmaowensdai:** plead the fifth uwu uwu

 **Lmaowensdai:** imma change some names

**Lmaowensdai changed _Toasterman_ to _Toasterdad_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _Applepies_ to _Captainsmallass_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _eyespi_ to _nutella_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _Sparkles_ to _poptarts_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _Bucky_ to _Jesustakethewheel_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _Tchallabutbetter_ to _mmmmteasis_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _emophase_ to _Angelica_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _what’snewpussycat_? To _looney_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _sourpatch_ to _mrfahrenheit_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _ratinthewalls_ to _mouldyshit_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _birdy_ to _tothelefttotheleft_**

**Lmaowensdai changed _Lmaowensdai_ to _spiderboi_**

**Angelica:** FUCK YES.

 **Angelica:** ANGELICAAAAA

 **Spiderboi:** ELIZAAAA

 **Mmmmteasis:** AND PEGGY!

 **Mmmmteasis:** also tea sis

 **Jesustakethewheel:** why

 **Spiderboi:** what u no like???

 **Jesustakethewheel:** no

 **Spiderboi:** :”(

 **Angelica:** no,,,, dont cry lil bro

**Mmmmteasis changed _Jesustakethewheel_ to _binky_**

**Binky:** thanks I hate it

 **Spiderboi:** ᴮⁱⁿᵏʸ

 **Mmmmteasis:** ᴮⁱⁿᵏʸ

 **Angelica:** ᴮⁱⁿᵏʸ

 **Toasterdad:** also, “lil bro"? When did that happen?

 **Angelica:** hes just... hes just so smol

 **Spiderboi:** I am!!! Not!!! Smol!!!

 **Mouldyshit:** is this like a personal attack or something?

 **Captainsmallass:** ????

 **Spiderboi:** I dont owe you an explanation you mouldy piece of end bread.

 **Nutella:** hmmm yummy

 **Mmmmteasis:** damn fucking right

 **Looney:** I dont understand mine

 **Spiderboi:** mr stark let me foster a black cat called luna

 **Spiderboi:** and.... yeah

 **Spiderboi:** I just thought it was fitting ig

 **Angelica:** send pics

 **Spiderboi:** [luna.png ](https://mysterycheerio.tumblr.com/post/626016337736663040/posting-this-for-a-fic-im-working-on-this-is)

**Poptarts:** I am honoured to be named after this incredible snack.

 **Mmmmteasis:** the only valid poptarts are the chocolate ones dont @ me

 **Spiderboi:** i will fucking @ you strawberry poptarts ftw

**Tothelefttotheleft:**


	2. and have thus failed the V̸͚̼̝̗̩̝̜̩́̔į̸̢̹̣̤͙͍̰̺̆̈́̾̽͂b̴̨̡̰͖͚̱̣̞̿̓̈́̒̅̒̔̇̽e̸̝̲̯̤̬̯͚͔͍̥͛͑̈ ̵̡̠͉͔̇̈́c̸̡̯̭͙͕̙̥̬̻͆̈́̈́͆̈̏̕͜ḣ̷̢͈̭̰͕̗̩̲̔͊̏͘͜͝e̴͚̙̩̓́̒̓̅̔̎̊͝c̷̭̙̖͚̟̯̊̇̅̾k̷̡̟͔̦̄̈̏͛͆̚̕͝ͅ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read it idk how to summerise

_**The Original Gays tm** _

**Spiderboi:** oh boy three am

 **Spiderboi:** you dont get krabby patties you just get...

 **Spiderboi:** depression

 **Mmmmteasis:** m00d

 **Spiderboi:** what are you doing up shuri

 **Mmmmteasis:** time zones you stupid bicth 

**Spiderboi:** le gasp

 **Mmmmteasis:** b00 y0u wh0re 

_**Toasterdad and Captainsmallass are online.** _

**Captainsmallass:** what are you doing up?

 **Spiderboi:** YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO THE ℌ𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔳𝔦𝔟𝔢𝔰 FOR YOUR V̸͚̼̝̗̩̝̜̩́̔į̸̢̹̣̤͙͍̰̺̆̈́̾̽͂b̴̨̡̰͖͚̱̣̞̿̓̈́̒̅̒̔̇̽e̸̝̲̯̤̬̯͚͔͍̥͛͑̈ ̵̡̠͉͔̇̈́c̸̡̯̭͙͕̙̥̬̻͆̈́̈́͆̈̏̕͜ḣ̷̢͈̭̰͕̗̩̲̔͊̏͘͜͝e̴͚̙̩̓́̒̓̅̔̎̊͝c̷̭̙̖͚̟̯̊̇̅̾k̷̡̟͔̦̄̈̏͛͆̚̕͝ͅ

 **Mmmmteasis:** state your name.

 **Captainsmallass:** Steve Rogers?

 **Spiderboi:** and is it true, Steve Rogers, they you left your friend for dead on a siberian wasteland  
Mmmmteasis: and tried to kill him??

 **Captainsmallass:** well, no-

 **Mmmmteasis:** *throws up*

 **Spiderboi:** 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐁𝐄

 **Mmmmteasis:** 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐁𝐄

 **Spiderboi:** Steven Rogers. You have brought uoıʇɐɹǝʇɐH and uoıʇɐɹǝlloH into the 🄳🄰🄽🄲🄴🅁🅈

 **Mmmmteasis:** AND HAVE THUS FAILED THE VIBE CHECK

_**Spiderboi kicked captainsmallass offline.** _

_**Mmmmteasis and spiderboi are offline.** _

**Toasterdad:** that was entertaining.

** _Toasterdad is offline._ **

* * *

_**Spiderboi and Mmmmteasis are online** _

**Spiderboi:** I WANNA BE A YOYO MAN

 **Mmmmteasis:** MAKE ME A YOYO MAN

 **Spiderboi:** BUT THE YOYO MASTER DID NOT ANSWER

 **Mmmmteasis:** HE JUST KEPT ON YOING 

**Spiderboi:** im so tired

 **Mmmmteasis:** physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually????

 **Spiderboi:** yes

 **Mmmmteasis:** m00d 

**Angelica:** CAN I GET A HECC YEAH

 **Spiderboi:** *teacher voice* idk can u

 **Angelica:** *sighs* fine, may I get a hecc yeah??

 **Mmmmteasis:** you should’ve gotten a hecc yeah at break time

 **Angelica:** but I didn’t _need_ a hecc yeah then

 **Spiderboi:** woah how u get italics

 **Mmmmteasis:** I’m sure your gf would tell u

 **Spiderboi:** oh would you look at the time

_**Spiderboi is offline** _

**Mmmmteasis:** twat 

_**Spiderboi is online** _

_**Spiderboi kicked mmmmteasis and angelica offline** _

_**Spiderboi is offline** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i call it break time. im english. im not fucking calling it recess you uncultured swines
> 
> yes i quoted a tik tok. 
> 
> and oooo spideychelle :)


	3. so yeah, congratulations -_-

_**Spiderboi, mmmmteasis, angelica & two others are online** _

**Spiderboi:** so yeah, congratulations

 **Mmmmteasis:** for???

 **Spiderboi:** for the rest of your life

 **Spiderboi:** EVERY SACRIFICE IS FOR MY SISTER

 **Angelica:** TO GIVE HER THE BEST LIFE!!!

 **Angelica:** congratulations -_-

 **Toasterdad:** I’m so confused 

**Mmmmteasis:** yeah, me too stark

 **Spiderboi:** its a hamilton song you uncultured swine

 **Mmmmteasis:** I only watched it twice you tiny snail!!!

 **Toasterdad:** i don’t remember hearing that song in the play

 **Spiderboi:** thats cause it used to be in the play, but then they cut it, but you can see it in the ham4ham show on youtube and the song is sung (solo version) by dessa

 **Mmmmteasis:** u no a lot about this one song

 **Spiderboi:** you don’t have all the facts

 **Mmmmteasis:** which are????

 **Angelica:** its a bop

 **Spiderboi:** its a bop

* * *

 **Spiderboi:** hi guys im on patrol!!!

* * *

_**Private messages** _

**Overthisdumbassschool:** don’t text and swing idiot

 **Spiderboi:** sorry mj

* * *

_**The original gays tm** _

**Spiderboi:** i have been reminded not to text and swi g so ill talk to yall later

_**Spiderboi is offline** _

**Toasterdad:** who told him that? Whenever i ask him to not text and swing, he flips me off.

 **Toasterdad:** someone’s got him wrapped around their finger

 **Mmmmteasis:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
  


* * *

 **Mrfahrenheit:** [video] – _(its a video of Peter walking into the kitchen at the tower, happy is holding a tarantula for some unknown reason, and when Peter sees it, he screams and yells “GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH" someone behind the camera {rhodey} screams back “IT DONT BITE", and Peter responds, now on the ceiling “YES IT DO")_

 **Angelica:** didn’t know you were one for pop culture references rhodey

 **Mrfahrenheit:** I have to babysit tony and his dumbass kid. one picks up these things.

 **Angelica:** .

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** angelicaaaa

 **LackToesInToddlerAnts:** all the way from London? Damn.

 **Mmmmteasis:** angelica, finally, someone who knows what I’m struggling here to do

 **Spiderboi:** im not here for you.

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** ooooooo

 **Spiderboi:** I KNOW MY SISTER LIKE I KNOW MY OWN MIND YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANYONE AS TRUSTING OR AS KIND

 **Spiderboi:** I LOVE MY SISTER MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS LIFE, I WILL CHOOSE HER HAPPINESS OVER MINE EVERY TIME

 **Spiderboi:** PUT WHAT WE HAD ASIDE, IM STANDING AT HER SIDE, YOU WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED, GOD I HOPE YOUR SATISFIED 


	4. plans and plans and ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hufflepuff and peter,unfortunately are peter in a different gc  
> actuallyresponsible is pepper  
> Scary is may  
> Hello there is ned  
> Overthisdumbassschool is mj

_**Spiderboi is online** _

**Spiderboi:** lmao blaze it

_**Spiderboi is offline** _

**Tothelefttotheleft:** why were you up so late

**Spiderboi:** yes

**Tothelefttotheleft:** that makes no sense

**Spiderboi:** bet

**Tothelefttotheleft:** yknow what spiderbitch-

_ **Toasterdad is online** _

**Spiderboi:** good morning parental figure uwu

**Toasterdad:** good morning problem child

_**Angelica is online** _

**Angelica:** hello there

**Toasterman:** holy shit everyone its a fucking miracle

**Toasterdad:** wandas awake before 2pm

**Spiderboi:** mr stark don’t be fucking rude úwù

**Angelica:** you are the ultimate angy uwu

**Spiderboi:** yis

**Spiderboi:** also

**Spiderboi:** general kenobi, you are a bold one

**Toasterdad:** stop watching the prequels theyre so bad

**Angelica:** le gasp

**Spiderboi:** how dare you

**Spiderboi:** the prequels are meme masterpieces of cinema

* * *

**Spiderboi:** HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT

**Spiderboi:** WHAT IN THE GODDAMN FUCKKDKDKSKSCMRK

**Captainsmallass:** language

**Mmmmteasis:** yeah peter that’s a hecking bad word

**Binky:** what happened

**Spiderboi:** you don’t want to know

* * *

**Toasterdad:** okay so the accords have officially gone

**Toasterdad:** the un wants us to all live in the tower

**Toasterdad:** so i need to set up rooms

**Nutella:** tony, are you sure about this

**Toasterdad:** honestly Nat, no, im not.

**Toasterdad:** but i don’t mind giving yall a home

_**Private messages** _

**Captainsmallass:** are you sure Tony

**Captainsmallass:** this is big

**Toasterdad:** im sure.

**Toasterdad:** ill be fine hopefully

**Captainsmallass:** that doesn’t sound too convincing

**Toasterdad:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Captainsmallass:** i know it can’t make up.for everything I’ve done, but I truly am sorry, Tony

**Toasterdad:** i know you are steve

**Captainsmallass:** do you ever think you could forgive me

**Toasterdad:** i don’t know Steve

**Toasterdad:** i really want to but idk if I can

**Toasterdad:** ill try tho, I promise

**Captainsmallass:** thank you tony

_**The original gays tm** _

**Toasterdad:** okay so

**Toasterdad:** each floor has three bedrooms, three ensuite bathrooms and a kitchenette

**Toasterdad:** the communal floor has a proper kitchen and a conjoined living space.

**Toasterdad:** who wants to live with who

**Mouldyshit:** is the penthouse available or have you already snagged that??

**Toasterdad:** nope, all yours vent fucker

**Toasterdad:** ik you like the view from above

**Nutella:** ill room with him

**Spiderboi:** owo

**Mouldyshit:** shut up

**Spiderboi:** TwT

**Nutella:** say that again to peter and ill fucking eat your lung

**Spiderboi:** iwi

**Toasterdad:** the floor below is mine and just so yall know it has more rooms than yalls

**Toasterdad:** me, pepper, rhodey, Peter and two spare rooms

**LackToesInToddlerAnts:** why do you need two spare rooms??

**Toasterdad:** ones a guest room

**Nutella:** whats the other room???

**Toasterdad:** ...

**Toasterdad:** anyways

**Toasterdad:** the one below can be steves yeah??

**Captainsmallass:** sounds good

**Captainsmallass:** ill take bucky and Sam with me

**Captainsmallass:** they’re gonna need me to organise a party soon

**Spiderboi:** what for?

**Captainsmallass:** when they finally deal with their sexual tension

**Mmmmteasis:** pfft.

**Spiderboi:** owo

**Binky:** Sam spat out his water

**Toasterdad:** the floor below is for tchalla and shuri and their intimidating general

**Mmmmteasis:** okoye would crush you and you know it

**Toasterdad:** loki, wanda and Scott have claimed the one below

**Toasterdad:** considering Scott wants his daughter to visit

**Toasterdad:** which leaves a floor for bruce and thor

**Toasterdad:** any objections

**Poptarts:** I do not object

**Jollygreengiant** whatever lol

**Spiderboi:** jfjeidoafikes

**Toasterdad:** the last floor is a spare bedrooms one, used for sleepovers and whatnot

**Toasterdad:** then its the communal living room

**Toasterdad:** anything below that are gyms, rnd, my personal labs and the lobby

**Toasterdad:** we good???

**Captainsmallass:** yes

**Toasterdad:** okay, i need to talk to pepper,,, bye yall

_**Toasterdad is offline** _

_**Spiderboi, mrfahrenheit & nutella are offline ** _

* * *

_**You can’t sit with us** _

**Peter, unfortunately:** jdjdjskwks dude guess what

**Hellothere:** what

**Peter, unfortunately:** dr. Banner is in the Avengers gc

**Hellothere:** holy shittt

**Overthisdumbassschool:** stop nerding its making me lose my appetite

**Overthisdumbassschool:** and im having pizza

**Peter, unfortunately:** cool!

**Peter, unfortunately:** im gonna have ramen

**Hellothere:** just ramen??

**Peter, unfortunately:** listen,, im home alone

**Peter, unfortunately:** sometimes a bitch just wants ramen

**Overthisdumbassschool:** fair

* * *

_**Private messages** _

**Captainsmallass:** have you noticed Tony is a lot less...

**Nutella:** dickish

**Captainsmallass:** well thats blunt

**Captainsmallass:** but essentially yes

**Nutella:** yeah, ig so

**Captainsmallass:** what changed?

**Nutella:** absolutely nothing

**Nutella:** he’s always been like this

**Nutella:** he’s just showing it to everyone more

**Captainsmallass:** why?

**Nutella:** idk

**Captainsmallass:** yes you do

**Nutella:** yes, I do

_**Nutella is offline** _

* * *

_**Ohana** _

**Toasterdad:** okay, i ordered it

**Toasterdad:** im gonna rope pete into helping me paint

**Scary:** he’s gonna do it if you ask

**Scary:** just wait, once he moves in, he’ll do anything for you

**Hufflepuff:** mr.stark??? may??? im??? right here??

**Actuallyresponsible:** did you order the crib in white

**Toasterdad:** yeah pep

**Nutella:** d o m e s t i c

**Platypus:** rlly living up to your name there tones

**Toasterdad:** stfu

**Toasterdad:** petes excited right

**Hufflepuff:** ofc

**Hufflepuff:** why wouldnt i be excited to help my baby sister???


	5. misgender them again and ill number your days.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone wanted lin manuel photo so i am here to deliver (sorry i forgot who asked that and im too lazy to check through my inbox but yw)

_**The Original Gays tm** _

**Spiderboi:** [ourlordandsaviour.jpg](https://www.google.com/search?q=lin.manuel.miranda+lip&safe=active&client=ms-android-samsung-ga-rev1&source=android-browser&prmd=insv&sxsrf=ALeKk00E3R3niOFAH1N2CKY8Z31w0kT86w:1599308793122&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiW7P_DgdLrAhVFwKQKHcMqDrUQ_AUoAXoECA0QAQ&biw=412&bih=735&dpr=2.63#imgrc=uLrkFt4alMcXcM)

 **Mmmmteasis:** oh how to see without my eyes ➖👄➖

_**(A/N: that awkward moment when you make a note to yourself to put emojis in and you forget to 🤦‍♀️)** _

**Toasterdad:** w-why?

 **Spiderboi:** the gen z’s are coming for lin Manuel mr.stark

* * *

 **Spiderboi:** my name is kermit

 **Spiderboi:** i speak for the “they's"

 **Spiderboi:** misgender them again

 **Spiderboi:** and ill number your days

 **Mrfahrenheit:** peter go the fuck to sleep

 **Spiderboi:** why

_**Toasterdad is online** _

**Toasterdad** : cause I said so

 **Spiderboi:** YOURE NOT MY DAD

 **Spiderboi:** YOU ALWAYS WANNA HEAR SMTH

 **Spiderboi:** UGLY ASS FUCKIN NOODLE HEAD 

* * *

_**Ohana** _

**Actuallyresponsible:** peter you made tony cry

 **Hufflepuff:** awww no mr.stark it was a joke

 **Mrfahrenheit:** idiot

 **Nutella:** you’re all idiots except pepper now go to sleep

 **Hufflepuff:** okay

 **Toasterdad:** so you listen to nat but not me or rhodey

 **Hufflepuff:** yeah cause like,,,

 **Hufflepuff:** i don’t want to b shanked

_**Hufflepuff is offline** _

* * *

_**The Original Gays tm** _

_**Toasterman, spiderboi, mmmmteasis and 5 others are online** _

**Toasterdad:** its move in day bitches 

**Toasterdad:** i low-key missed yall so much 

**Mouldyshit:** me and nats eta is 10

 **Spiderboi:** minutes??

 **Mouldyshit:** no hours

 **Mouldyshit:** yes minutes

* * *

 **Looney:** what the fuck

 **Captainsmallass:** language 

**Toasterdad:** what happened

 **Looney:** peter came to greet us 

**Looney:** he roller-skated around us and went

 **Spiderboi:** WHATS UP FUCKERS

 **Looney:** yeah

 **Looney:** and then shuri jumped out the car

 **Looney:** which was still parking and yelled

 **Mmmmteasis:** WHY DO YOU HAVE MY PHONE 

**Spiderboi:** FUCK YOU THATS WHY

* * *

 **Mmmmteasis:** 🔥🔥

 **Spiderboi:** ouch it burned me :T

 **Mmmmteasis:** oops 

**Spiderboi:** its okay I chopped my finger off 🔪🔪

 **Toasterdad:** what the fuck

 **Mmmmteasis:** your finger is a part of you,,, so throw it away. Now ur in a long distance relationship w yourself

 **Spiderboi:** n o i c e

 **Mmmmteasis:** y e s

 **Toasterdad:** no wtf don’t do that

 **Spiderboi:** im hungy

 **Mmmmteasis:** eat it then

 **Spiderboi:** yum

 **Mmmmteasis: 👉** +🔪=🍽

 **Toasterdad:** im out fucking bye

 **Spiderboi:** c r u n c h c r o n c h

 **Mmmmteasis:** nyeehehehehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone say thank you meg for the last part, she commented that on my Instagram post (she shuri, im peter)
> 
> also comment ideas lol


	6. auto-erotic asphyxiation purple ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> might do an impulsive twitter fic idk

**Spiderboi:** LGBT stands for lets guillotine billionaires together

 **Mmmmteasis:** wig

 **Toasterdad:** *gulps*

 **Mouldyshit:** im in.

 **Toasterdad:** moving swiftly on

 **Toasterdad:** im terrified

 **Spiderboi:** you should be

 **Angelica:** wig snatched.

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** sis snapped

 **Mmmmteasis:** miss keisha, oh miss keisha.

 **Angelica:** oh my fucking god. She fucking dead.

 **Spiderboi:** hey, how yo-

 **Mmmmteasis:** shxhdhshwuxiaragra

 **Spiderboi:** AAAAAAAAA

 **Spiderboi:** get yo fucking dog bitch

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** it don’t bite.

 **Spiderboi:** YES IT DO.

**Angelica is offline**

**Binky:** you’re all going to hell. Goodbye ✌

 **Mmmmteasis:** what do you get when stark, rogers and barnes are in the same room.

 **Spiderboi:** gang bang.

 **Toasterdad:** PETER-

 **Binky:** -_-

 **Toasterdad:** im leaving

**Toasterdad is offline**

**Binky:** ditto

**Binky is offline**

**Mmmmteasis is offline**

**Spiderboi:** what a bitch

**Spiderboi is offline.**

* * *

**Angelica:** hey teens buckling up is totes yeet yo

 **Spiderboi:** i will fucking slurp your kneecaps

 **Mouldybread:** you’d hit a girl???

 **Spiderboi:** the hammer of justice is unisex.

* * *

 **Spiderboi:** hippity hoppity let’s steal national property

 **Toasterdad:** nO-

 **Mmmmteasis:** killjoy

* * *

 **Mouldyshit:** peter and i are colouring avengers colouring pages

 **Angelica:** valid

 **Angelica:** i might jump in there.

 **Mmmmteasis:** hA i got here first

 **Binky:** Save me a colour

 **Mouldyshit:** he has these w a c k ass crayons

 **Spiderboi** : which colour???? suspicious cold sore red or auto-erotic asphyxiation purple

 **Toasterdad** : .

 **Captainsmallass:** im a little scared to ask this but what are the other colours called?

 **Spiderboi:** suspicious cold sore red

 **Spiderboi:** tanner stain orange

 **Spiderboi:** court ordered urine sample yellow

 **Spiderboi:** bulimia green

 **Spiderboi:** pregnancy test blue

 **Spiderboi:** auto-erotic asphyxiation purple

 **Spiderboi:** bong water brown

 **Spiderboi:** moral ambiguity grey

 **Spiderboi:** topical ointment white

 **Spiderboi:** void of existential anguish black.

 **Mouldyshit:** thank

 **Spiderboi:** welc.

 **Angelica:** tag yourself im pregnancy test blue.

 **Mouldyshit** : what.

 **Angelica:** what.

**Angelica is offline.**

**Spiderboi:** welp,

 **Spiderboi:** im void of existential anguish black.

 **Toasterdad:** I’ve been laughing at this for the past five minutes

 **Toasterdad:** im suspicious cold sore red.

 **Spiderboi:** ned says he’s court ordered urine sample yellow

 **Spiderboi:** which,,,, , ,okay

 **Mmmmteasis:** im auto-erotic asphyxiation purple ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Spiderboi:** drink some water you thirsty hoe

 **Mmmmteasis:** ₙ ₑ ᵥ ₑ ᵣ

 **Mmmmteasis:** what does your girlfriend identify as???

 **Spiderboi:** mj says she’s moral ambiguity grey

 **Spiderboi:** which honestly fits her to a tea.

 **Mmmmteasis:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Spiderboi:** what???

 **Toasterdad:** :o

 **Spiderboi:** ur such a bitch

 **Spiderboi:** she’s n o t my gf

 **Mmmteasis:** right sis 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment pls?


	7. ortograph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im running out of content so if you're one of my friends and you saw this uh, no you didn't ❤

**Toasterdad:** peter

 **Spiderboi:** its not Peter

 **Spiderboi:** its mr. Parker

 **Spiderboi:** get it fuckin roght

 **Mmmmteasis:** no

 **Spiderboi:** right**

 **Mmmmteasis:** its actually mr. Spider

 **Spiderboi:** mr. Spider is also acceptable.

 **Mmmmteasis:** right

 **Spiderboi:** shUT

 **Mmmmteasis:** nO

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** its the bad ortograph for me

 **Spiderboi:** wtf is an ortograph?

 **Spiderboi:** autograph?

 **Mmmmteasis:** bruh

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** open a fucking dictionary you dumbass

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** its a fancy way of saying spelling

 **Mmmmteasis:** don’t use big words

 **Mmmmteasis:** iM THIBKING IN NUMBERS RN MAHE

 **Spiderboi:** they’re trying shuri

 **Spiderboi:** let them try and use the grown up words in peace

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** IT MEANS SPELLING IDIOT

 **Spiderboi:** r00d

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** I KNOW THAT ONE WORD LET ME JJWJSJSKskjsaj

 **Mmmmteasis:** WLEL IT ONLY EORKS IF IK WHAT THE WORD MEANS

 **Spiderboi** : im sleep deprived and gay let me LIVE

 **Mmmmteasis:** IF U INSULT ME W BOG WORDS AND I DONT INDERSTAND

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** MOOD

 **Mmmmteasis:** THEN ITS LOST

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** YOUR LOST

 **Mmmmteasis:** you’re*

 **Spiderboi:** well just take it as a compliment

 **Mmmmteasis:** yes i am

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** AHDJXBDBABZJXKSEJSJW

 **Spiderboi:** okay but I know a bigger word.

 **Spiderboi:** hippopotomonstrosesquipdaliaphobia

 **Spiderboi:** there i win

 **Mmmmteasis:** I know a bigger word

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** your mum

 **Mmmmteasis:** well, at least i have one.

 **Mmmmteasis:** right guys?

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** .

 **Spiderboi:** .

 **Spiderboi:** you didn’t have to do us like that.

 **Mmmmteasis:** now everyone knows how much of a MONSTER I AM MUAHAHAHA

 **Spiderboi:** press x to doubt

 **Notmyguccioutfityoufilth:** x

 **Spiderboi:** x

 **Mmmmteasis:** yall are so mean to me this is bullying

 **Toasterdad:** who made you this way?

 **Spiderboi:** the sySTEM

**Author's Note:**

> luna is my kitten   
> i love she.
> 
> would be v v grateful if you comment lol


End file.
